Stalled...

Yesterday was Weigh-In Wednesday. 69.6kg (a 400g gain). Happy to say that this morning 300g of that has gone. But my weight loss has stalled somewhat. The post fun-run thing has kicked in. It's almost as if I'm too scared to run. My hip hurts and although recovering, my groin hurts. My holiday starts in just over a week. I don't know why, but I'm just not freaking doing it.

But I'm eating OK (not following the plan 100% but not going over). At least this thing has taught me how much I can eat and I'm making better food choices. I've lost 10kg and that is a huge achievement. I like how I look in the mirror a lot more now.

I've read some stuff on the interweb lately where women are trying to deal with body image - more specifically, the fact they are overweight. This is such a huge issue. And some of it has bagged out Michelle Bridges and the 12WBT program. Apparently we are all  being sucked in by media and this chick who uses plastic surgery to achieve her look. If you believe what you read.

There is a large campaign to not view your self-worth through the lens of media-constructed ideas of beauty. That we need to accept every body is beautiful.

I have mulled this over.

Yes, I agree, your size or your weight should not be connected to your worth as a person. Losing weight is not magically going to make you happy. If you are overweight, it does not automatically mean you are lazy, ugly and stupid. There is a hell of a lot more to life than a number on the scales.

But... Ultimately, being overweight is not good for your health. It means you are consuming too many calories, whatever way you cut it. It means you are at risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease. It means you have fat sitting on your internal organs. It means you are not really looking after yourself.

So when I look at photos of me looking like this:

I know I've lost 10kg and can "run" 10km. But - I need to lose another 10kg. I still have rolls of fat around my middle and therefore in my insides. Those legs are working too hard lugging all that extra weight around.

So. I'm going to get off this keyboard and onto my rowing machine. I might be too scared to run and further aggravate my hip, but I can do something cardio related! This journey isn't over just because I reached a couple of big milestones! This is the hardest thing about this journey - it just never "ends", does it? I know I'm not the only one out there dealing with this - the forums are full of people like me who "fell off the bandwagon" or "lost motivation". 

But we just have to keep on putting one foot in front of the other, don't we? Because I do not accept this body yet - I love it for what it has achieved, but I also love myself enough to keep going.

How do you feel about your body?

The ecstasy and the agony...

The ecstasy:

I can see that I do pronate a fair bit and my Mizunos work hard!

But yay - no heel-striking!

A smile for the camera!

Nearly finished!

The agony:

Friggin' hell it was hot.

And really, really hard work.

And since that day, I've not run at all. AND I've pulled a muscle in my groin and it really hurts (I did this trying to sit cross-legged on the ground - obviously I am too old for that now!).

I want to run but I don't want to exacerbate an injury. I need to get back into a routine (any exercise, I'm not fussy right now). I can see an eery sense of history repeating and I don't want that. What's Mish say? JFDI...

Wednesday Weigh In!

Alrighty. So if you recall, last week (Week 1 of Round 2 of 12WBT) saw a gain and sadly had me back in the 70s, after scraping into the 60s at the end of Round 4.

This week, I've eaten well (95% of the time), done a 10km fun run, walked the dog and done my toning. What happens when you stay consistent?

69.2kg!! 152.6 lbs

Woot! That's 1.5kg gone from last week! I'm sure a lot of the weight gain was fluid retention from the birthday weekend wine - and a good incentive to stay away from the stuff!

Hopefully, that's the last we'll see of the 70s. And my BMI is now 25.7 - still just in the Overweight range, but ever so close to Normal!

I'm so proud of the 10+ kilograms I've shed. I've been consistent, not silly, however I still have few more to go judging my some of my photos from last weekend:

Rolls of fat begone with you!!!

It's interesting, because when discussing (my obvious) weight loss, some people feel the need to say "oh you can stop now" or "don't go getting all skinny on us" or similar. Well, that's just annoying, people! Because this week I picked up some interesting blood results back from the tests I had just before Christmas - my Fasting Glucose Levels were 5.6 - which by some standards indicate Insulin Resistance or Metabolic Syndrome, especially coupled with my high blood pressure and waist circumference of over 80cm. It's not drastic yet, but I need to keep working on this - not just my weight, but my health too. Luckily all my triglycerides and cholesterol levels were OK :-)

I think those comments come from a place of denial, maybe guilt. I certainly view all my previous excuses about my weight as just that - excuses. This healthy lifestyle CAN be done, it should be done. Sure it involves some choices - less wine, no thanks to chips etc. But that short term "pain" is a hell of a lot better than long term insulin injections!

Other milestones that don't involve the scales this week are my "tight" jeans shorts getting loose:

The things I subject you to!!

And I blogged a while ago (on my homeschooling blog) about putting my "too small" clothes away. I found the bag in the shed after a big cleanup on the weekend - and lo and behold, my size 12 shorts fit me!!! I couldn't do them up 4 months ago!! 

I have a ways to go before I go and buy a bikini and get back to the good ol' days, but if I keep on being consistent, that just may be a goal that's in sight:

That's me in the orange bikini circa 1988!!

Next "mini-goal" is to get to 66kg - that's as low as I got in 2009 when I did bootcamp when I was teaching (but I wasn't starting at nearly 80kg then!). Next week should see me a tiny step closer!

Husky 10K Fun Run Wrap Up!

I did it!!!!

I finally have enough energy/time to sit down and post about my big 10K Fun Run on Saturday!

The days in the lead-up to the big day were filled with sore DOMS legs from toning on Tuesday, feeling very under the weather with a sore throat and fatigue, so I just took it easy, took my vitamins and took a little walk around the block.

The day of the race dawned sunny and steamy. Big storm clouds threatened the horizon. When I went to pick up my husband from work, it was a stinky 30C:

It was so hot and steamy that as I did my housework, I sweated buckets. I wish I took a photo of my bra which was nearly sweated through, but I took pity on you and thought better of it :-) I drank heaps of water and even a coconut water to make sure I didn't dehydrate myself. I had wholemeal toast with banana for breakfast and chicken and pesto pasta salad for an early lunch.

The check-in was at 2:30pm. As we drove there, the heavens opened! 

Hubby was not looking forward to standing in the rain for well over an hour (I bet he was wishing he married a faster runner at that point!). We met up with my partner-in-running-crime Tracey and her fabulous kids who had just competed in the kids triathlon.

We look nervous! What on earth have we signed up for???

It was sprinkling and then raining as we gathered in the start area. There were some very serious looking athletes there and only a few weekend-warriors. We didn't want to be up the front, but I was afraid if I was at the very back I would stay there for the whole race! 

Not a flattering shot - still have a few kilos to go!

That looks better - check out those clouds!

The rain magically stopped, leaving high humidity just as the starters pistol fired!

In both my fun runs (such experience!), the early pace has been fast. And I tried to balance keeping up and not going ridiculously faster than what I'm capable of.  Trace and I just wanted to be able to run the whole thing (a tough ask given the conditions) or failing that, finish!  I soon found my place at the back of the pack, as runner after runner past me, and I felt totally out of breath and stressed! Turns out my pace for that first kilometre was (fast for me) 6:03 min/km. 

Racing down the main drag.

I tried to settle down into a comfortable pace. I turned around and was relieved to find at least a couple of people behind me. Tracey had settled into a comfy pace just in front of me - I watched her bouncy little ponytail most of the race! 

Me at the far right, Tracey to the left in white. Someone else forgot to get a  babysitter... 

I think the only  good thing about this pic is that I'm not heel-striking

I have to say that apart from a few hundred metres or so, it was not an enjoyable run. The only thing in its favour is that it was relatively flat. It was very uncomfortable and my face felt beetroot red for most of the way. The water was for pouring over my head, although I think at one point I must have poured energy drink over my head because my white peak was all orange afterwards! There was some beautiful soul with a hose whom I'm forever grateful to.

The crowd was great, cheering us last few runners on - particularly as we came back to the start position to do lap 2. It was the best feeling to see my hubby, patiently waiting for me to turn up! I handed him my peak as it was just too hot on my head. 

I just kept trying to keep running and not stop. At the halfway point, it was pretty depressing to think I had to do it all again. But our training 10km run is like that, so in some way, I've learned to deal with that. There were only a couple of points (water stations, a little uphill stretch) where I slowed to a walk, but to be honest at times it felt like I was running slower than the girl in front of me who seemed to walk the whole way! I would just catch her, have a little chat (we cheered ourselves on!) and then she took off and I could not keep up.

But I did it. I ran (mostly) 10 kilometres in a race. And I didn't come last - but in fact, even if I did, I still did my best. It wasn't "fast", it wasn't pretty, but I did it! 

The scenic course

Just got slower and slower (but a spurt at the end!) - still a good pace for me :-)

Add caption

So - that's a PB!!! I think perhaps I need to rethink my half marathon plans - not entirely, but for this year. I will continue to work on my weight (much less to lug around!), my fitness and my speed. Next year, I should be able to shave quite a few minutes off that time and move up the finishers list a bit! 

And I have to say a HUGE thank you to Tracey - she and I have done this together and shared a common goal - we ran a 10K! She spurred me on to turn up at dark-o'thirty on Saturday mornings. She kept me running when I wanted to stop. She gave me a ponytail to focus on. And we are going to keep running and keep trying :-)

PS: No bling!!! What's with that? If I run my little heart out, I want a medal - just sayin'....

Meh. Wednesday Weigh In.

Well, I had a sneaking suspicion my week of dodgy eating and lack of exercise might catch up with me:

70.7kg - 1.1kg gain 

It was a bit bloody depressing to have to record a 1.1kg GAIN for Week 1 of Round 1 of 12WBT. 

Not freaking happy Jan.

How damn easy was it to gain that 1.1kg? No effort at all - and just goes to show how at "my age", the body is designed to hang onto those extra calories like it's life depended on them! What it thinks it needs them for is beyond me.

But I will be consistent! I'm back on track with diet. Apart from a case of DOMS, I'm back on track with exercise.

Well, I actually find that rather depressing....

That's a bit more like it!

I have my 10K fun run on Saturday - I'm excited and nervous at the same time!

I have tentatively started the half-marathon program for Round 1, but my hip/glute is starting to play up again, so after Saturday, I think I will have to back off the running a bit, focus on the stretching, massage and strengthening and rotate my cardio around a bit. Maybe I might try the Intermediate program until we go on holidays. I definitely don't want the big injury thing raising it's ugly head too - now that would be depressing.

Onwards and downwards!!

Round 4 ends with a whimper...

After my great results in the last weigh-in, life has de-railed my good intentions a little! So these last few days haven't been filled with consistency - either in the nutrition or exercise stakes.

A trip to Sydney staying with relatives meant I had to do the best I could. I did a big walk (got lost, so it was longer than I intended!), but no running, no toning and compromised food choices. However, as far as possible, I opted for smaller serves and only two glasses of wine.

Garmin says it was 94% humidity! It certainly felt like it  - sweat-fest!

BUT, I did get to Lululemon and treat myself to a new running top and new socks!

Still in their largest size, but pretty funky, don't you think?

Padded running socks for blister prevention (and Max the helper)

It was my Hubby's birthday and for the first time in forever, we had a nice night out by ourselves a local restaurant. The tapas-inspired menu was YUM and I was able to enjoy tasty bites without filling my plate. I do, however, now remember why I cut back on my wine intake...I was in no fit state to do my long run yesterday morning!

I haven't run in nearly a week! I feel quite weird about that. Back into it today with a tempo run from Week 1 of the Half Marathon program! We shall see how that progresses with a 4 week holiday in the middle of it...but for now, I want to keep up the running momentum (last week not included).

Are we going for a run, huh? Are we? Can we?

I know I haven't gone completely off the rails, but I bet it impacts on the scales. It pisses me off no end how hard I have to work for a loss and how easy it seems to be to gain! But things are back to "normal" (whatever that is) now and back to good choices. Bring on Round 1!!!!

12WBT - Round 4 Wrap-Up

After 12 weeks (and also Warm-Up and Pre-Season) (late October 2012 to early February 2013):

What the world sees

What I (and the internet!) see

What the scales see

% body fat (what my insides see!)

I have lost:

• 10cm off my bust (of course)
• 9cm off my waist (yay!)
• 5.5cm off my hips
• 5cm off each thigh
• 2cm off each upper arm.

I can:

• do 10 pushups on my toes (up from 0), 
• do 30 pushups on my knees (up from 24)
• reach 19cm past my toes (up from 10cm)
• run 1km in 6 minutes 26 seconds (down from 7:13)
• sit against a wall for 2min3sec (up from 42 seconds)

I have gone from a size 16 (some tight!) to a loose size 14 and sometimes a size 12 (woot!).

My belt has tightened up 2 notches.

My watch is loose.

My skin is glowing.

I can run 10km without stopping (when it's not 90% humidity and 25C).

I can eat cottage cheese and like it!

I only drink maybe a couple of nights a week and then only a couple of glasses of low alcohol wine.

These are big changes for me. I am feeling healthier and more energetic. If I'm tired, it's usually a good, physically tired from a big workout. I have started a healthier lifestyle, which will benefit my weight but also my blood pressure, heading towards diabetes, cholesterol, my liver etc, etc. 

My family eats more healthily and my husband has lost weight too.

I have further to travel on my journey. I have more goals to achieve. I am still in the overweight category of BMI, my waist measurement is still unhealthy, my blood pressure is still high.

I'm sure I'll have bits where I lapse, but I hope my lifestyle has turned a corner and will be consistently healthier.

Thanks for your support so far - can't wait to do this post in another 12 weeks and see more progress!!

Too far...

Can I smash all of this open

Can I pass the hurt with a little pain

I wanna see all of it crumble

Start afresh and over again

Another "red flag" day on Friday - a work do at the local pizzeria. I skipped my snacks, ate clean and went and bought low-alcohol bubbles. And stuck (mostly) to the vegetarian pizzas (which were delish!).

And the biggest test of how far I've come of all - the dreaded muffin-top jeans. These are the "too tight" pair that give me indigestion. But not tonight! They are fitting much more comfortably (nicely, even) and maybe, just possibly, are a little loose around the legs!

Might need to clean the bathroom mirror...

And other little things are becoming noticeable - when I'm not sweaty, my watch is looser too:

Saturday morning - I had all the excuses under the sun not to do my long run:

• it was dark
• it was cold (southerly change blew up, bringing winter-like conditions)
• my running buddy couldn't make it
• I got my period the night before
• my blister was sore
• I had to be at work at 9am
• my hair was all lovely and straight from the hairdressers
• I didn't feel like it

All of these went through my head on Friday night and also Saturday morning when the alarm went off at 5:30am (noooo!).

But I Just Freaking Did It. I got up and ran. And it was about a billionty degrees cooler than last week and I ran the whole bloody 10km and then a little bit more (the hard bit around the golf course). I felt strong and for the first time, I felt that maybe, just maybe, this half marathon idea is not so crazy.

OK, so Usain Bolt has nothing to worry about
 and don't even talk to me about the pathetic amount of calories burnt!

I'm not totally sure of the distance there, because Garmin thinks I swam part of the way...

I'm scared of pushbikes to be contemplating a triathlon any time soon...

So here we sit on the threshold of Week 12 of the 12 Week Body Transformation. Will I have "transformed" my body? Not totally, but damn, I'm sure I've made a good start! 

Not sure I'll get to my little goal of being in the 60s by Wedneday's weigh in, so stay tuned for that and the "big reveal" of the before and after shots (eek!).

Where there is no one else

Where I'll be from under and can uncurl myself

Too many, too much, too hard

Help me, this time I went too far